


Netflix Presents: Richie Tozier, Childhood Amnesiac

by Anonymous



Series: Reunited [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Kissing, M/M, Netflix special, Pussywise can go fuck himself, Reddie, i thrive off of Netflix specials so i decided to write one myself, like all of these stories are variations on things that have happened to me yikes, mild homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21998320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Richie has returned from his mysterious absence with a Netflix special, and a secret that’s been kept in the dark for too long. Follow Tozier as he navigates his sexuality, sex life, and everything in between.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: Reunited [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1583530
Comments: 2
Kudos: 62
Collections: Anonymous





	Netflix Presents: Richie Tozier, Childhood Amnesiac

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second part to my series Reunited, and can be read as a standalone if you want but it would be great if you checked out the first part too.

“Kiss for good luck?” Richie puckered his lips at Eddie.

“You’re a menace,” Eddie said, pecking Richie’s lips. “I love you so much.” Richie grinned. “Good luck, and please don’t break your leg because I don’t want to set it.”

“Only for you, babe.” Richie leaned in for one more long kiss before pulling away with a smile.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” a voice boomed.

“That’s my cue,” Richie whispered to Eddie.

“Richieee Tozier!” Richie walked onto stage waving as the crowd cheered.

Richie grabbed the mic out of the stand with his left hand, the other one still waving.

“Thank you, thanks so much for being here,” he began. “Oh man, it’s so cool to hear people cheer in support of me. That never happens. Yes, some of you may remember my great freak out of 2016. It’s okay to laugh, if I can laugh about it in therapy you guys can laugh at me while I’m onstage. It’s fine, the lights are blinding me anyways so you guys are all faceless monsters who laugh at my suffering.

I’m going off on a tangent, but I probably wouldn’t be back here on a huge stage if it wasn’t for a very important person. And a Netflix special! Wow! I’m up there with the greats, like Amy Schumer!” Richie grinned as the crowd groaned. “Too soon? Just kidding, it’s never too soon to make fun of Amy Pohler.

Anyways, back to me. You see, I have a huge secret that I’ve kept from all of you. It’s, uh, something I’ve repressed and held back for a very long time. I…” Richie stared at the floor. “Aw fuck I’ll just say it. I fucked my boyfriend’s mom. I hope you all can accept me for being into MIWLF’s, ‘Mom I Wouldn’t Like to Fuck’. The crowd chuckled as most stared in shock. “Just kidding I fucked my boyfriend, I’m bisexual. Hi.” The crowd started cheering as Richie bowed. “I’m out! Man that feels good to say. Gimme a second I’m still sort of stuck in the closet. What the fuck are all these scarves doing here?” Richie pantomimed unwrapping scarves and throwing them behind him. 

“Perfect. So yes! I am a bisexual man who’s having my sexual revolution at 43. It’s great, really. We go at it for like 10 minutes and then we’re absolutely exhausted for 20. My boyfriend is even worse. He’s a gay man who was stuck in a straight marriage for years. When I met him again, cause we grew up together, I found out that he’s horny as fuck. All. The. Time.

Aw man he’s glaring at me from the wings. Guess that means no sex tonight.” Richie grinned at Eddie. “Hate sex?” Edie rolled his eyes. “Score!” Richie pumped his fist. 

“Anyways, I’m going to be talking about my boyfriend for a bit cause I love him and he’s amazing. He came with me to my meeting with Netflix and I felt like Klaus and Five from The Umbrella Academy. I hear a few fans out there!” Someone in the back whooped and Richie winked at them. “It was like that scene where Klaus has to pretend to be Five’s dad, and he’s stoned out of his mind and doesn’t care and Five has to be the whole brains of the operation. Clearly I’m Klaus in this scenario. Anyways, my boyfriend stormed in there like ‘This is what’s going to happen and you guys have to do everything I say or else I’ll smash your head into at desk.’ He’s amazing and I love him so much for that. They were basically like “Yes Mr. Kaspbrak, whatever you say Mr. Kaspbrak’. Ah, the joys of having a bossy boyfriend.

Moving on, let’s talk about when I came out to my family. Yeah! Some of you guys know what’s up. Anyways, I grew up in the South of the North in a wonderful town on the East Coast. So as you can imagine, I didn’t come out to my family until like, last year. I told my mom, and it was this sweet, touching moment and we both cried. After I came out I told her ‘Hey Mom, maybe please don’t tell Dad cause he’s pretty homophobic and I‘d like a spot in the will.’ And at first she was like ‘Yeah totally, I’d never out you!’” Richie stuck his hand in his pocket and sighed. Some people chuckled. “Some of you are ahead of me. The next time I went to my parents’ house my mom went ‘Hey honey I know you said to not tell your father, but I told him anyways.’ Fucking what?! Who does that shit? I should have made a blood pact with her, then I get to kill her if she breaks it. Not really, but it’s a nice thought. So she tells me this and then she tells me to talk to him.” Richie stood at the very edge of the stage and leaned forward. Holding the microphone as close to his mouth as possible, he uttered one word. “No. But she dragged me by the ear, you know how moms are, over to my dad and sat me down next to him and told us to “play nice”. Play nice, what are we, five? ‘Can I get you boys some juice boxes?’” He imitated his mother, “‘Wenty you’re going to need to get picked up at 4:00, Richie needs to be in bed by 5:00. I’ll call your mom, okay?’ Just kidding, no one cared about kids in the 80’s. Poor Wenty would have been kicked out by 4:00 and forced to walk home. We’ve all been there before, right? And then your parents kick you out cause they’re drunk and think you’re some weird homeless child. Ah, memories. Wish I had those.

Anyways, back to my mom outing me, what fun! So she sat me down with my dad, and I asked him what he thought about me being bisexual and having a boyfriend, and we just sat there in silence for a bit...awkwardly...until he looked at me really seriously, and said, ‘Richie, you aren’t bisexual. You want to know why?’ And I went, ‘Why Dad?’ And do you know what he said? Do you know what he fucking said Radio City Music Hall?” Richie screamed into the mic. “He said ‘You aren’t bisexual because if you were you’d have AIDS, and you don’t have AIDS.’” Richie shoved his hand in his pocket and sighed, wandering around the stage aimlessly and kicking at the microphone wire. “Now, let that just, sink in.” Richie kicked the wire again for a couple of seconds. “Just kidding I have ADHD I can’t wait that long. So WHAT THE FUCK. First of all, no. Second of all, even more no. That’s not how being bisexual works. If you’re bi, you get HPV. If you’re gay, then you get AIDS. C’mon Dad, common knowledge, keep it up!” The crowd roared with laughter as Richie stood still, overlooking the crowd.

“My mom had sort of been listening in to the whole conversation and swooped in real quick. ‘Alright boys,’” he said in a sing song voice, “‘thanks for coming over Wenty, now get out of my house. Hope your parents don’t kick you out. Bye!’ Guess I’m not getting a spot in the will anymore, yikes.

Going back to my boyfriend because I love him, he’s such a fucking tease, you guys have no idea. See, I have this fun little thing called childhood amnesia, which basically means that I don’t remember the first 18 years of my life. Some of you guys are like ‘Sign me the fuck up! I don’t want to remember myself in middle school!’ But the great thing is that my boyfriend and I actually grew up together. So he remembers when I shoved cigarettes up my nose in an attempt to smoke them, but I don't. Well, I didn’t. Until he told me. But we’ll be like, fucking? You guys get it, right? Any virgins in the crowd tonight?” The crowd is dead silent. “Alright, everyone here can get it, nice! Either that or you guys are a bunch of fucking liars. Anyways, we’ll be fucking, and Eddie’s like ‘I’ll tell you about the first girl you fucked if you make me cum, and I’m like, ‘Sweet!’ So we do our thing, you guys know how it is. Maybe. And we’re laying there, panting, cause we’re 43, and I’m like, ‘Alright dude, spill the beans.’ And he’ll go, ‘It was with some random chick at prom, she touched your dick and you creamed your pants instantly,’ and I was like, ‘Goddamnit!’ You know? My little asshole of a boyfriend is embarrassing me with my own memories. Man, I wish I had memories of him. He showed me a photo of himself as a kid, his name’s Eddie by the way, just thought I should say that. Anyways, he showed me a photo, and he was such a fucking dweeb! You guys have no idea! In the photo he’s wearing these super short shorts, you guys remember those from the 80’s, right? And he’s got a fanny pack around his waist, cause he was that kind of closeted gay. Anyways, he showed me this photo and he was like, ‘This was my favorite fanny pack,’ like bitch you had more than one? Why? What purpose does it serve? God, I hope I burned his fanny packs.

Moving on to the more relatable part of the night, you’re welcome virgins, has anyone ever been to a cafe? You know, the place where you order a small drink for $5 and then they spell your name wrong on the fucking cup? Yeah. You’d think, with a name like Richie, it would be easy to spell. Well, you’d be wrong. At this point I’m convinced that they spell your name wrong on purpose, just because. You know, like ‘This dude’s already pissed off for waiting in a 15 minute line and paying way too much money for fucking bean juice, let’s throw in a random letter into his name. I’ve gotten Rachie, Rychie, Rychee, Ricardo, just straight up Reece, and my all time favorite: Dick. Thank you Radio City Music Hall for having me, and goodnight! You guys are amazing!” Richie bowed and waved to the crowd before jogging offstage.

“So, how was it? He asked Eddie.

“Hmm, I think that deserved another memory,” Eddie hummed.

“Oh?” Richie’s ears perked up.

“Yep. Let’s see...oh I’ve got one! I’ve loved you since I was 12, how about that?” Richie grinned, grabbed Eddie’s face, and pulled him in for a kiss. He could get used to this, memories or no memories.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m obsessed with the Netflix specials so I decided it would be perfect to write one of my own, even though this thing is nowhere near as long as an actual special. A lot of these stories are based on things that have actually happened to me, just twisted to fit Richie’s life. Thanks for reading!


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